sorrythatwasrudeofme: im-a-survivor-not-a-victim: Please read and reblog Hi, my name is Claire and this photo was taken two weeks before I died, for just over a minute. Two weeks before everything I had, everything I was, got beaten out of me, in the most brutal, unforgiving, painful and disgusting way I can imagine. I was 14. On the 21st of August 2009, I was walking from a friends apartment to my mums office, just two blocks away. It was 8:45pm, dark and raining. The street was pretty empty. I remember the next few hours as clearly as if it were yesterday. The next few hours have been etched into my brain. I got half a block away from my friends apartment when I was grabbed from behind. I was pulled into a van that had been parked on the side of the street before I could scream or even think. They blindfolded me, stuffed a piece of fabric in my mouth to gag me and taped my mouth shut. They tied my hands behind my back and bound my ankles. I could hear two men talking and one got out of the back of the van and got in the cab, then we started moving. They drove me for some time, I don’t know how long. I was sobbing and shaking. It felt like a bad dream. I remember thinking that stuff only happened in horror movies.. The fact that it was happening to me was, unreal. All I wanted was to me in my mothers office already, warm and safe. After some time they stopped, and when the engine cut out it was quite all around the van. The driver came back into the van, and they took off my blindfold. The interior lights were on and there were no windows. The first man I saw looked as old as my father, the second was a bit younger. The look on the older man’s face will be stuck in my head forever. He looked excited, pleased. The younger man looked at me like I was a piece of meat cooked to his liking. Then the older man started cutting off my clothing. I could hear my heart beat in my ears, and tears were all down my face. When I started struggling, despite being restrained, they started beating me. The younger man kicked me in the back, right in my kidney. He kept kicking me, as the older man started taking off his pants. It was so painful but I tried not to scream. When I stopped struggling he stopped kicking me. I looked up to see the older man kneel over my face, he was naked from the waist down. He smelled terrible. He said “I’m going to take this out of your mouth, but don’t bother screaming ok honey? No one will hear you anyway.” He ripped off the take, laughing at my wincing and pulled the fabric out of my mouth. Before I could swallow his penis was in my mouth and down my throat. The taste almost made me vomit, and he was making me gag. He pulled out and I spat out bile and spit which dribbled down my chin. He entered my mouth again and I did vomit. When I did, he started hitting my face. When he stopped I looked over at the other man and he was masturbating. I had vomit down my face and on my chest. The older man used some of my cut up clothing to wipe it up, and wipe it off him. Then he pulled me up on my knees, pushed my face into the floor and penetrated me from behind. I was a virgin before that night. The pain was unbearable. He was merciless and not about to stop. I screamed, and the younger man came and started kicking my side again. Then he got down under me and together they “double teamed” me. The pain made me pass out. When I woke up I was being beaten again, and when they saw me gain conciousness they carried on. I screamed and screamed. All I could think about was my mother, and my friend, and if they knew I was gone. All I wanted was the police to bust into the van and take all the pain away. I was so beaten up and hurt I couldn’t bare the pain. I couldn’t deal with it and I wanted to die. As they raped me, they cut me. They cut my legs, my chest, my stomach. I was bleeding a lot, but I couldn’t really see. One of my eyes was swollen shut. I started coughing up blood and breathing hurt so bad, not to mention the coughing. They ejaculated into me after a while. By then I was so out of it I hardly knew what was happening. I think then they realised how bad I was, and before beating me some more, they got out of the van and started driving again. I think I must have been alone in the back, and I just let go. I was so tired I felt like I was going to sleep. I woke up when I was being dragged out of the back of the van. I fell onto concrete and it was so bright I was blinded. I heard the van speed off and I knew it was over. I let go then. I felt my heart shudder and stop. I suddenly felt no pain, felt weightless. I was still in my body, it was just like my body had been turned off. It was pure white all around me, and it felt like a dream world. I was floating. There are no words to explain it. Then I fell, with a jolt back into my body. It felt like I had dropped into hell. My body was on fire and everything hurt. I gasped a breath of air and it felt like my rib cage got ripped out. I don’t remember much after that. I only have what I’ve been told. I had been dropped off outside the emergency room and died on the ground. They estimated my heart had stopped for just over a minute. They resuscitated me, stabilised me, then put me to sleep. I was operated on almost immediately. I had three broken ribs, a collapsed lung, collapsed ear drum, severe blood loss, slightly fractured face below my left eye, a fractured shin, sprained arm muscles, severe abdominal bruising, damaged kidney, ripped and cut rectum and vagina, and deep cuts all over my body. They expected me to die. My injuries were extensive, at the very least. The police searched for these men for a very long time, but found nothing. It was suspected these men where experienced criminals, though their DNA from their semen wasn’t in the system. They were undetectable.  It took me over a year to recover physically. I’ve had counselling and therapy till this day. I have flash backs and nightmares a lot, but no where near as much as I used to. I’m getting better, slowly. I want people everywhere, guys and girls, to know that it gets better. I was lucky. SO many woman, and men, have been raped worse, and even murdered. This is my message to anyone and everyone who has undergone any kind of rape, sexual abuse or trauma to know that it gets better.It takes a while. But with help, and support you can get through it. It will never go away, but you can learn to control it, learn to live with it. It doesn’t control your life any more and you can move on, and get on with your life.  I am a survivor, not a victim. Repeat after me. You can be free. Please reblog this. The people of tumblr have worked together before, and you can do it again. Help me get this out there. God bless. I almost didn’t read this…

sorrythatwasrudeofme:

im-a-survivor-not-a-victim:

Please read and reblog

Hi, my name is Claire and this photo was taken two weeks before I died, for just over a minute. Two weeks before everything I had, everything I was, got beaten out of me, in the most brutal, unforgiving, painful and disgusting way I can imagine. I was 14.

On the 21st of August 2009, I was walking from a friends apartment to my mums office, just two blocks away. It was 8:45pm, dark and raining. The street was pretty empty. I remember the next few hours as clearly as if it were yesterday. The next few hours have been etched into my brain. 
I got half a block away from my friends apartment when I was grabbed from behind. I was pulled into a van that had been parked on the side of the street before I could scream or even think. They blindfolded me, stuffed a piece of fabric in my mouth to gag me and taped my mouth shut. They tied my hands behind my back and bound my ankles. I could hear two men talking and one got out of the back of the van and got in the cab, then we started moving. They drove me for some time, I don’t know how long. I was sobbing and shaking. It felt like a bad dream. I remember thinking that stuff only happened in horror movies.. The fact that it was happening to me was, unreal. All I wanted was to me in my mothers office already, warm and safe. 
After some time they stopped, and when the engine cut out it was quite all around the van. The driver came back into the van, and they took off my blindfold. The interior lights were on and there were no windows. The first man I saw looked as old as my father, the second was a bit younger. The look on the older man’s face will be stuck in my head forever. He looked excited, pleased. The younger man looked at me like I was a piece of meat cooked to his liking.
Then the older man started cutting off my clothing. I could hear my heart beat in my ears, and tears were all down my face. When I started struggling, despite being restrained, they started beating me. The younger man kicked me in the back, right in my kidney. He kept kicking me, as the older man started taking off his pants. It was so painful but I tried not to scream. When I stopped struggling he stopped kicking me. I looked up to see the older man kneel over my face, he was naked from the waist down. He smelled terrible. He said “I’m going to take this out of your mouth, but don’t bother screaming ok honey? No one will hear you anyway.” He ripped off the take, laughing at my wincing and pulled the fabric out of my mouth. Before I could swallow his penis was in my mouth and down my throat. The taste almost made me vomit, and he was making me gag. He pulled out and I spat out bile and spit which dribbled down my chin. He entered my mouth again and I did vomit. When I did, he started hitting my face. When he stopped I looked over at the other man and he was masturbating. I had vomit down my face and on my chest. The older man used some of my cut up clothing to wipe it up, and wipe it off him. Then he pulled me up on my knees, pushed my face into the floor and penetrated me from behind. I was a virgin before that night. The pain was unbearable. He was merciless and not about to stop. I screamed, and the younger man came and started kicking my side again. Then he got down under me and together they “double teamed” me. The pain made me pass out. When I woke up I was being beaten again, and when they saw me gain conciousness they carried on. I screamed and screamed. All I could think about was my mother, and my friend, and if they knew I was gone. All I wanted was the police to bust into the van and take all the pain away. I was so beaten up and hurt I couldn’t bare the pain. I couldn’t deal with it and I wanted to die. As they raped me, they cut me. They cut my legs, my chest, my stomach. I was bleeding a lot, but I couldn’t really see. One of my eyes was swollen shut. I started coughing up blood and breathing hurt so bad, not to mention the coughing. They ejaculated into me after a while. By then I was so out of it I hardly knew what was happening. I think then they realised how bad I was, and before beating me some more, they got out of the van and started driving again. I think I must have been alone in the back, and I just let go. I was so tired I felt like I was going to sleep. I woke up when I was being dragged out of the back of the van. I fell onto concrete and it was so bright I was blinded. I heard the van speed off and I knew it was over. I let go then. I felt my heart shudder and stop. I suddenly felt no pain, felt weightless. I was still in my body, it was just like my body had been turned off. It was pure white all around me, and it felt like a dream world. I was floating. There are no words to explain it. Then I fell, with a jolt back into my body. It felt like I had dropped into hell. My body was on fire and everything hurt. I gasped a breath of air and it felt like my rib cage got ripped out. I don’t remember much after that. I only have what I’ve been told.

I had been dropped off outside the emergency room and died on the ground. They estimated my heart had stopped for just over a minute. They resuscitated me, stabilised me, then put me to sleep. I was operated on almost immediately. I had three broken ribs, a collapsed lung, collapsed ear drum, severe blood loss, slightly fractured face below my left eye, a fractured shin, sprained arm muscles, severe abdominal bruising, damaged kidney, ripped and cut rectum and vagina, and deep cuts all over my body. They expected me to die. My injuries were extensive, at the very least. The police searched for these men for a very long time, but found nothing. It was suspected these men where experienced criminals, though their DNA from their semen wasn’t in the system. They were undetectable. 

It took me over a year to recover physically. I’ve had counselling and therapy till this day. I have flash backs and nightmares a lot, but no where near as much as I used to. I’m getting better, slowly. I want people everywhere, guys and girls, to know that it gets better. I was lucky. SO many woman, and men, have been raped worse, and even murdered. This is my message to anyone and everyone who has undergone any kind of rape, sexual abuse or trauma to know that it gets better.It takes a while. But with help, and support you can get through it. It will never go away, but you can learn to control it, learn to live with it. It doesn’t control your life any more and you can move on, and get on with your life. 

I am a survivor, not a victim. Repeat after me. You can be free.

Please reblog this. The people of tumblr have worked together before, and you can do it again. Help me get this out there. God bless.

I almost didn’t read this…

(via thetiniestthings)

2 days ago

حنه: BEING BROWN IS BEAUTIFUL.

rararamyeon:

trubr0wn:

navigatethestream:

wretchedoftheearth:

(I wonder how many notes this can get before it’s derailed by “so is being white”)

(it wont take long. because white can be beautiful and pins won’t drop. but soon as brown is beautiful everybody wants to…

(Source: genderbendingriotqueer)

6 days ago

name-em-shame-em:

that-cherokee-bitch:

deanpaints:

On January 12, 2010, one day after his 18th birthday, CAPA High School honors student Jordan Trent Miles was ambushed by three plain clothes Pittsburgh police officers, who failed to identify themselves and approached him aggressively. The officers did not say “Stop! Police!”, they jumped out of an unmarked vehicle, one of them yelling “Where’s your money? Where’s the drugs? Where’s the gun?” Miles, never before in trouble with the police and thinking he was being robbed, began to run, and slipped on the icy sidewalk. The officers overtook Miles and administered a brutal beating that left him unrecognizable, ripping dreadlocks out of his head, and continuing to beat him as he lay on the ground after their initial assault, stammering the Lord’s Prayer. There can be no explaining away or excusing what was done to Miles.

The police officers lied about what happened, claiming there was a bulge in his pocket they assumed was a gun but “turned out to be a Mountain Dew bottle”. No bottle was ever entered into evidence, and Jordan and his friends will tell you he doesn’t even drink the soda. The officers also attempted to claim a neighbor reported him as a prowler and attempted to bring assault charges against Miles, which were tossed out of court when the neighbor said she did no such thing. Despite all this, the City of Pittsburgh went on to reward these violent officers with a commendation and, during their suspension, paid them more than they earned while working. Meanwhile, the Pittsburgh DA has not brought charges and the Justice Department announced on May 4th, 2011 that it would not prosecute the three officers. The mayor and police chief announced on May 5th that the three officers would be returning to work.

“I feel that my son was racially profiled,” Terez Miles said. “It’s a rough neighborhood; it was after dark. … They assumed he was up to no good because he’s black. My son, he knows nothing about the streets at all. He’s had a very sheltered life, he’s very quiet, he doesn’t know police officers sit in cars and stalk people like that.”

http://justiceforjordanmiles.com/

this is exactly what i’m talking about.

look at the pathetic amount of notes on this. why can’t this get coverage? i don’t give a shit about another missing white girl.

Omg :-/

It’s a sad fact, but for every Trayvon Martin, where the nation rises up and cries for justice, there a dozens of Jordan Miles and Marissa Alexanders. Jordan needs justice, but we can’t stop with having the police officers who assaulted him jailed. Our society needs to change. We need to stop seeing black men and thinking “criminal,” we need to stop seeing black women and thinking “it was her own fault.” 

(Source: kushite, via simply-war)

1 week ago
one-angry-liberal: This is a fantastic point. 

one-angry-liberal:

This is a fantastic point. 

2 weeks ago
“A brave young woman of the company that LUSH front full of passers-by, decided to undergo the same tests that the animals undergo laboratory testing for cosmetics, soaps, etc.. Admiration for this young woman .. Would you be willing to take the test to find out what animals endure? Waiting for your answers!Mouth torn, reaction products in the eye, electrodes placed on the head, shave the skull, all of which patients probably shocked by this experiment that took place in the English Lush Store!!! Loreal is one of the Major companies… PETA has all the lists..WE CAN STOP these CRUELTiES if we Simply DONT BUY their PRODUCTS … and START TODAY … PLS” ***Sorry if this was a little weird to read, it was translated from French. :) *** YFNPsycho: A friend posted this on Facebook, and I apologize but they did not provide the source.  A couple of years ago, I had to do a presentation for my Speech 101 class on why organic cosmetics are better than nonorganic cosmetics. One of my points was that most organic companies do not test their products on animals. I showed everybody gruesome pictures of what the animals went through to get my point across, but I bet if I showed them this it would be a huge reality check.  I know a lot of people don’t care about the suffering of animals because we believe they are less than us.  But if most of us wouldn’t undergo this treatment ourselves, why are we still supporting companies that do this to animals?

“A brave young woman of the company that LUSH front full of passers-by, decided to undergo the same tests that the animals undergo laboratory testing for cosmetics, soaps, etc.. Admiration for this young woman .. Would you be willing to take the test to find out what animals endure? Waiting for your answers!

Mouth torn, reaction products in the eye, electrodes placed on the head, shave the skull, all of which patients probably shocked by this experiment that took place in the English Lush Store!!! 

Loreal is one of the Major companies… 
PETA has all the lists..

WE CAN STOP these CRUELTiES if we Simply DONT BUY their PRODUCTS … and START TODAY … PLS”

***Sorry if this was a little weird to read, it was translated from French. :) ***


YFNPsycho: A friend posted this on Facebook, and I apologize but they did not provide the source. 

A couple of years ago, I had to do a presentation for my Speech 101 class on why organic cosmetics are better than nonorganic cosmetics. One of my points was that most organic companies do not test their products on animals. I showed everybody gruesome pictures of what the animals went through to get my point across, but I bet if I showed them this it would be a huge reality check.  I know a lot of people don’t care about the suffering of animals because we believe they are less than us.  But if most of us wouldn’t undergo this treatment ourselves, why are we still supporting companies that do this to animals?

2 weeks ago

(Source: staypozitive, via dollhousexo)

2 weeks ago

To all the people I follow who DON’T have music on their tumblrs…

2 weeks ago
2 weeks ago

(via robcayman)

2 weeks ago

It’s not a game anymore

(Source: izmia, via robcayman)

2 weeks ago